Weddings, or ‘how much did you say that fucking costs?’

June 15, 2007

I’m using this book review to segue into a topic that probably has been beaten to death by other, smarter people, but I’m going to add my own two damn cents, okay? Jesus, what’s wrong with you!

I’m sorry, I just get flustered and irritable when I think how how much weddings cost. God, I’m getting upset right now. Like, really upset.

 Our wedding was great. The food was great, the drinks were great, everyone had a good time, parties were held late into the night, etc. It was also really expensive. I have no idea of the final cost borne by my new parents-in-law, but it probably was close to $25,000. And as my wife will tell you, we didn’t do anything that was really extravagent. That’s just how much it costs to get married, unless you want to do something really simple like get married at the courthouse and throw a party in the backyard of your parents’ house. Actually, that’s kind of what I wanted to do at first, but our wedding was great.

And some of the costs were fine. For example $30 a person for the food is great when the food is as good as the food was at our wedding. I mean, it sounds like a lot, but if you took the wedding guests out to dinner at even a simple restaurant with decent food, chances are you’d spend a lot more than $30 a person. The site fee I can understand – it was worth was we paid to get the Inn all to ourselves for the entire weekend (the deal was you pay a fee and agree to rent all the rooms for two nights). That atmosphere was so inclusive and great and let the families and our closest friends be together for the weekend.

But the photographers? You gotta be kidding me. The photography was the first place I started to go insane. This is a pretty standard pricing sceme. And no, you’re not reading that wrong. For the low low cost of $4500 dollars, you get yourself 8 hours of coverage and 800 pictures. Almost $600 an hour. You see enough of these prices, you almost start thinking that the guy who bids $2700 for 6 hours is a pretty fair price, until you realize it’s still $450 an hour.

I understand that photographers used to have a lot of specialized skills. Hell, I remember when I took photos when I was a high school newspaper editor, I had to get someone to develop them for me. So back in the days when 800 photos meant a solid week of developing work, I could understand why photography was expensive. But now? How hard is it to plug the camera into the computer, fuck around in photoshop for a few hours, and click ‘print’? It seems to me that photography has gotten easier but the prices haven’t dropped accordingly.

Then there’s flowers. Look, the flowers at our wedding were beautiful, but I really don’t care to know how expensive they were. Robin was telling me about $10 a stem flowers (‘and that’s with a deal’) and my eyes started glazing over. I really hate flowers, by the way, so that influences my thinking in this area. Robin HATES that I never buy her flowers. In fact, it’s kind of a running joke that I don’t buy them for her (a joke to me, probably a serious character flaw to her). I hate them because they’re such an obvious symbol of throwing your money away on perishable things. At least with other extragences like pedicures and massages there’s a physical effect. Who knows, maybe for some people there’s an emotional effect with flowers that justifies the pricetag, I don’t know. The only emotional effect flowers have on me is making me angry. But anyways, let’s say our flowers cost $2000. You’re spending $2000 on something so people can walk into the room and say ‘how pretty!’ Then they die in 5 days. Of course, they were really pretty, and I didn’t pay for them, so…still, flowers piss me off.

But literally 90% of women in this country think they have to do it. Literally 90% wouldn’t accept a lump sum payment wedding present from their parents, totalling the cost of a prospective wedding, instead of having the wedding itself. Girls are trained from a young age to want the big wedding of their dreams. Purveyors know this, and they gouge you on almost everything as a result. Motherfuckers.

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4 Responses to “Weddings, or ‘how much did you say that fucking costs?’”

  1. Paul Says:

    My sister’s getting married next week, and my parents are similarly spending a ridiculous amount of money on the wedding. I keep asking her and her fiancee, “Wouldn’t you rather have two cars than what amounts to nothing more than an expensive party?”

  2. Robin Says:

    I would like if you got me some flowers this weekend.

  3. skerns Says:

    zing!

  4. s Says:

    you bastards.


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